Gaga In The Morning

Because, no matter what my Afro-Haitian teacher says as we stomp our bare feet and twirl our imaginary skirts, gaga may be a dance with a lot of hip action, but it's also a homely little girl in a lot of hair and cakes of makeup and the silliest peekaboo wardrobe ever to attend a Yankees game. And now, Gaga is also a blog and an organization for Grannies who want to tell the cockeyed world how they really feel about their grandkids. GAGA!
That's what I found out from the paper this morning, too early to have built up easy resistance to treacley information. Some Tinker Belle down the peninsula fell so in loove (GAGA) with her newly-hatched grandkid that she just had to blog it and Connect (we love that word in California. It makes us feel like refrigerator magnets, which we also love)with other, like minded Nanas.
You know who she is, you jog-strollered, coffee-sipping, yoga-clad mommies: she's the one with the glint in her eye, bearing down on you as you wait for the light to change so you and little Muffin can get back underway to Mommy and Me music class, but no, here comes this wrinkly, who wants to Engage about how cute Muffin is, how sweet her smile, how fat her thighs, all the things Mommies are supposed to love to hear, even when they're late for their activity.
Here's the other helpful thing that Nanny GAGA does. She runs meetings for other Grandmas, to help them understand how to conduct themselves in the presence of what used to be their children. "Get with the program" is her advice, since you won't be seeing much of the cherished moppets otherwise.
I'm here to testify that you may not see much of them, no matter what you try to do, although holding large sums of money enticingly clutched in your hand might increase your chances. You see, the Mommies think it is a damn miracle that they lived to grow up, considering who was raising them. They know that if they let the little poppets anywhere near the oldsters, all those horrible jokes will get told, games will get played, values will get warped. We'll never know, will we?